She is my go to girl if I need someone to give me a (virtual) slap around the chops and say ‘just get on with it woman’.
OK, over to Rebecca:
Who Do You Think You Are?
Have you ever sat down to write a blog post and had a battering from the inner critic?
You have a great idea for a blog post, you might start to research some interesting facts or tips you can put in there, and suddenly that little voice pipes up in your head. You know, the sneery one, that says “who do you think you are?”
And that’s it, you’ve lost your nerve.
Sometimes the inner critic leaves its demoralising speech until just before you click send. Or just after. Leaving you wondering whether or not to delete it. Anxious if you don’t. A whole bunch of what ifs if you do.
When the inner critic takes a proper hold of you, constantly reminding you that it thinks you aren’t enough, that posting whatever golden nuggets of awesomeness you want to post will ensure everyone finds out you are a fraud, we would call that imposter syndrome or fraud syndrome.
And imposter syndrome is an arse to deal with because whatever proof you have that you do actually know what you are talking about won’t be enough proof for you.
You will always, until you beat it, have that doubt.
When a blog post doesn’t get the hits you hoped it would, you will see that as proof you are not all that and that people don’t want to read you as they see right through you.
When a blog post does really well, you won’t try and analyse what you did right, what you did that made that post succeed. You will put it down to luck. Lucky timing, lucky SEO, lucky person with lots of followers who happened to RT it. You will still think: “When are they going to find me out? When are they going to realise that post was just a lucky one off?”
And what happens in the end? You stop writing. Or you stop putting so much effort into writing. In short, you self-sabotage. And we don’t want that.
Challenging Your Self-Deprication
Some tips to help with this:
Have a good long, honest and objective think about your blogging, and ask yourself if your worries are being caused by a vicious inner critic.
Remember you aren’t alone.
You might have heard of a massively successful and talented author called Maya Angelou. She once said: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’ ” Think about that.
It’s Ok that you care, just don’t care too much.
Accept that your blog is your baby, it is your online imprint on the internet. It is OK to care about what you put out there.
Some posts will be better than others, more popular, more engaging, more insightful. Others won’t be examples of your best work. That is OK.
Don’t care so much that you are paralysed by perfection, unable to hit ‘publish’ until every piece is a masterpiece.
Accept that there will always be someone with a bigger blog or Twitter following, someone who knows more about a subject, someone who seems always to be just a step ahead of you. That’s OK. It doesn’t make you any less good at what you do.
You are you; you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. So stop. By all means check out what “the competition”, if you insist on calling them that, is doing. But don’t compare yourself to them. Comparison is a slippery slope towards a beating up from the inner critic.
Celebrate the wins.
Regularly look at how far you have come. Daily, weekly, however often it takes to remind yourself of all the good things. List them, but don’t you dare qualify them by saying you were lucky, or someone else did something to help. By all means acknowledge help, but you still play a huge part in your successes and achievements. Enormous.
So. Who the f*ck are you to be writing that blog? What if you are the right person to be writing that blog right now? Who, other than your inner critic would be telling you otherwise?
You know what to do. JFDI.
Rebecca is a certified coach based, enjoying life in rural France (but thanks to the Power Of The Internet, she is happily able to serve clients worldwide).
After many years working in the financial markets of London, Paris and Luxembourg she is now an established mindset coach who devotes her time to helping women executives and business owners kick their inner critic’s butt.